Monday, March 8, 2010

Sucsess!!!! Sort of...

I decided to take my inquiry within the confines of the local Barnes and Nobles and set up shop in the teen section. At this point, I approached every person who ventured into the teens section and asked the person if they liked vampire books. I got varying responses ranging from very enthusiastic words of approval and groans of distress. One individual in the second category went so far as to shout obscenities at me. Despite my endeavours I failed to deduce anything of meaning from this venture. Take your own morale from this tale.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

On the mass production of vampire books.

With the success of Twilight, all of the bookstores have decided to mass produce a multitude of vampire books. I can not contemplate why the idea of some pale faced guy sucking all your blood out is appealing to people. This sudden invasion of bookstores makes me lament the loss of all those cherished novels that had once adorned the shelves of the teen sections. Shall all of these wonderful books fade into obscurity. I have decided to pick up one of these vampire books to see why they appeal to the general populace.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Prodigy

It all started the day I was abandoned at birth by the library. Almost the minute after I was placed upon the cold stone doorstep I found I could read. Most people can't read until they are older but it came surprisingly easy for me.

I was thrown into some orphanage after a day or two but I was not a very happy child. The people at the "prison", my nickname for it, always sealed the archives and put a keep out sign by the door. I was always frustrated how they fortified the center of learning and after a year of planning I finally broke past the defenses at age 12. There I tucked all of the precious bits of info into the nooks and crannies of my brain. Unfortunately I was intercepted on my way out and was forced to flee the so called "orphanage".

I headed out to sea, and towards the Galapagos islands to learn the secrets of evolution. On the long voyage across the globe I met my mother. Our reunion was very brief -- she had a tragic accident while feeding the Mako sharks and met a very interesting demise. It was funny because she was smiling and laughing the whole time. When I reached the island I discovered the secrets of evolution and extinction. (I guess I'm a little stingy but I want to keep those secrets to myself.)

On the islands I discovered I was addicted to reading. I stole books from the local research facility and became notorious. One dark night, while swimming amongst the dolphins, I saw a strange figure sitting on the shore. At first I tried to flee however I was tired of just escaping my problems and approached the shadowy figure. The person introduced herself as Twyla Lee and said she was my cousin.

Finally, Twyla took me back to Castle Nyx where I could begin my work to write book reviews and thereby satisfy my addiction.